- like you are completely satisfied with who you are this moment
- beyond all of others expections of you
- beyond your perceived limitations
- beyond setbacks, injuries, and disease
- as your authentic self
- beyond your own expectations
About Me
- Carol Fitzgerald Tyler
- I lost 103 pounds without surgery, and there was great rejoicing! However - over the last year and a half, life got in the way. Between serious bouts of fibromyalgia and debilitating migraines, I gained some weight, and found myself feeling dumpy, frumpy, and most definately in a slump. 2012 is over and the time has come to dump that frump slump, release the excess weight, change my attitude, and be and feel fabulous! This journey is about more than just weight loss. It is about facing and releasing all things that hold us back from living life to the fullest each and every day. Make the most of what you have, and live a "seize the moment" lifestyle. Join me on my journey, and dump your own slumps - whatever they may be. Welcome to Fabulous!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Like You Mean It....
Live -
And so it begins, again...
It's decided. The goal - 6 marathons in 2012. The question of "how" is now answered by the statement "one step at a time".
I'll be keeping the motivation for and the journal of this journey on 6in12.blogspot.com.
I'm all in...really...
That is the only way to be...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
I'll be keeping the motivation for and the journal of this journey on 6in12.blogspot.com.
I'm all in...really...
That is the only way to be...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
How?
I had an idea on November 4th, 2011. Well - I had more than one, but never mind the number of ideas that crossed my mind on that day. This particular idea has grown wings.
How did I get the idea? I got a text from a friend saying he had thought of me after reading an article about a marathoner. I was also inspired by the 47,000 or so people participating in the New York City Marathon, particularly Zoe Koplowitz - the 63 year old woman with MS who just completed her 23rd NYC marathon. There are a few other inspirations as well - and so there it was. The idea was formed.
As the idea began to resonate and haunt me all the live long days - How would I accomplish the idea? I was creating mental project plans, then rejecting them all and worrying about "what if the sky falls on this particular day?" How am I going to do all of this? How would my body and mind react to this? How would I explain it? How would I blah blah blah...
After several days of chewing on the how's - I had an epiphany last night. At the conclusion of a heart pounding workout - it just stopped (not my heart but my worry). Perhaps all the "how to" questions were maybe (read - for sure) a mask for excuses about why it couldn't happen. I realized I didn't need to have ever small task and detail mapped out. I just needed to get going on the idea that has permeated my soul. I needed to stop excusing it and start doing it.
I am grateful for the inspiration and for this idea. It somehow feels just right (thank you Goldilocks). Everything else - well I will figure it out as I go along.
How will I do that? I just will...
How did I get the idea? I got a text from a friend saying he had thought of me after reading an article about a marathoner. I was also inspired by the 47,000 or so people participating in the New York City Marathon, particularly Zoe Koplowitz - the 63 year old woman with MS who just completed her 23rd NYC marathon. There are a few other inspirations as well - and so there it was. The idea was formed.
As the idea began to resonate and haunt me all the live long days - How would I accomplish the idea? I was creating mental project plans, then rejecting them all and worrying about "what if the sky falls on this particular day?" How am I going to do all of this? How would my body and mind react to this? How would I explain it? How would I blah blah blah...
After several days of chewing on the how's - I had an epiphany last night. At the conclusion of a heart pounding workout - it just stopped (not my heart but my worry). Perhaps all the "how to" questions were maybe (read - for sure) a mask for excuses about why it couldn't happen. I realized I didn't need to have ever small task and detail mapped out. I just needed to get going on the idea that has permeated my soul. I needed to stop excusing it and start doing it.
I am grateful for the inspiration and for this idea. It somehow feels just right (thank you Goldilocks). Everything else - well I will figure it out as I go along.
How will I do that? I just will...
Monday, November 7, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Energy Surge
In talking with people (and with myself) , it seems lately like many things have been relegated to the "I'll start that tomorrow" file:
Today is here, and that makes it a good day to take on transformative energy. Today is a good day to break out of habits that have "accumulated" over time that are no longer of service.
Today has powerful transformative energy. Today - change just one habit and watch how even the smallest alteration has a huge effect in your life.
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
- healthy eating patterns (some would call that a "diet")
- exercise
- organization at work and in personal life
- forgiveness and moving on
- serving others
- being authentic
Today is here, and that makes it a good day to take on transformative energy. Today is a good day to break out of habits that have "accumulated" over time that are no longer of service.
Today has powerful transformative energy. Today - change just one habit and watch how even the smallest alteration has a huge effect in your life.
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Carpe Diem - Every Diem
Even though I thought I needed no further reminders - today Steve Jobs provided one. We have one life of undetermined timeframe and unknown possibilities. Waste not a moment being dis-satisfied.
However, the reminder today is this - do not settle for what does not work for you, regard yourself daily and ask if what you are about to do "fits" what you really want, and live in the knowledge that you are amazing.
Mr. Jobs - thank you for the reminder.
"Your time is limited..don’t waste it living someone else’s life."
- If you aren't happy - do something different.
- If it isn't working - change it.
- If it's awesome - embrace it and make "more".
However, the reminder today is this - do not settle for what does not work for you, regard yourself daily and ask if what you are about to do "fits" what you really want, and live in the knowledge that you are amazing.
Mr. Jobs - thank you for the reminder.
"Your time is limited..don’t waste it living someone else’s life."
Steve Jobs
Sunday, October 2, 2011
What Are Your Intentions?
There is a profound moment in the movie Apollo 13 where Jim Lovell asks his team "Gentlemen, what are your intentions?"
Why is that such an important question?
The original mission of Apollo 13 was for the lunar module Aquarius to land Lovell and Fred Haise on the moon and to explore the Fra Mauro highlands.
As famously noted - everything changed with the statement "Houston, we have a problem" and the intended mission went out the window. The new intentions? Stay alive and return to Earth as quickly as possible. Seemingly good intentions and ultimately - successful for the crew.
Without intention - the day becomes unfocused and frustrated. The day "happens to me" instead of me steering that ship. Too much junk and clutter. I am skipping yoga and the treadmill. I'm not creative, and finding excuses for not doing that which I intended to do.
With intention:
I intend that as of this moment - the playing field is completely level and the future is all things possible.
Now - my intentions are set for the next 30 days and admittedly, they are challenging. I am intent on accomplishment, and I will be asking myself the question each morning, and using the answers to shape my daily activities. After the first 30 days, it will again be time to reflect and reset the next set of intentions.
Don't wait any longer. It is time to ask ourselves what do we really want and how we are going to do it. Why not?
What are your intentions?
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Why is that such an important question?
The original mission of Apollo 13 was for the lunar module Aquarius to land Lovell and Fred Haise on the moon and to explore the Fra Mauro highlands.
As famously noted - everything changed with the statement "Houston, we have a problem" and the intended mission went out the window. The new intentions? Stay alive and return to Earth as quickly as possible. Seemingly good intentions and ultimately - successful for the crew.
Without intention - the day becomes unfocused and frustrated. The day "happens to me" instead of me steering that ship. Too much junk and clutter. I am skipping yoga and the treadmill. I'm not creative, and finding excuses for not doing that which I intended to do.
With intention:
- Action is guided towards goals and objectives
- Excuses dissipate
- Change occurs
- Accomplishments flourish
- Everything feels better
I intend that as of this moment - the playing field is completely level and the future is all things possible.
Now - my intentions are set for the next 30 days and admittedly, they are challenging. I am intent on accomplishment, and I will be asking myself the question each morning, and using the answers to shape my daily activities. After the first 30 days, it will again be time to reflect and reset the next set of intentions.
Don't wait any longer. It is time to ask ourselves what do we really want and how we are going to do it. Why not?
What are your intentions?
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Saturday, October 1, 2011
October 1st - The Truth
September 2011 was an amazing month of fun, joy, love, and celebrations. It was a month of indulgences - and it was magnificent!
October 2011 is time to get back to basics, get back to getting it done - day by day.
First things first - assess where you are. You can't "fly the plane" until you figure out your position.
Where I am:
Onward:
Someone recently told me to never look back, lest like the myth of Eurydice, she returned to the Underworld the moment Orpheus looked back. Look forward, he said, and avoid any unpleasant issues with what has passed. You can't do a thing about it anyway, so look ahead.
Checklist complete - All systems are go. I am flying the plane from here, full speed ahead, with a clear vision of the destination.
All is possible when all is desired.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
October 2011 is time to get back to basics, get back to getting it done - day by day.
First things first - assess where you are. You can't "fly the plane" until you figure out your position.
Where I am:
- A number on the scale this morning that I didn't much care for...
- Snug skinny jeans
- Discomfort
Onward:
- Focus on what can be done and my strengths
- Vision of what is desired (i.e. looser fitting skinny jeans)
- Comfort
Someone recently told me to never look back, lest like the myth of Eurydice, she returned to the Underworld the moment Orpheus looked back. Look forward, he said, and avoid any unpleasant issues with what has passed. You can't do a thing about it anyway, so look ahead.
Checklist complete - All systems are go. I am flying the plane from here, full speed ahead, with a clear vision of the destination.
All is possible when all is desired.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Enough - Onward
A long while has passed since any words were written here. Why?
And to all of that, and the items too numerous to list - for this moment - it is what it is.
- Reasons? Many.
- Excuses? Perhaps a few.
- Results of the reasons and excuses? Not good.
I'm most decidedly not where I want to be as I begin my "second half". It is very convenient to place blame on the birthday odyssey for some excess weight, but I know better. I know better than to blame in general. It does not, nor will it repair the damages and propel me forward (not backward) to where I want to be.
Enough...
No more resistance. No more attempting to change things that I cannot change. It is time to accept what is - as it is today (painful though that is).
- For this moment - it is what it is, no matter how I want it to be something else
- For this moment - indulgence, stress and frustration is sitting in my midsection (perhaps a bit in the thighs as well)
- For this moment - I am not able to complete the half marathon I wanted to do in October
- For this moment - the other unpleasant things are real and icky
And to all of that, and the items too numerous to list - for this moment - it is what it is.
The good news? From this moment on - it can be different. It can change, it can be better, and I can react by making better choices.
Much has been accomplished thus far, and for all of those things I am profoundly grateful. Now - my sights are set on moving forward, and not ever looking back again.
One of my favorite football teams always performs very well in the first half, and fails to "close the deal" in the second half. In my second half - I intend to "close the deal" - over and over and over again.
Enough...
No looking back...
Onward...
Monday, July 4, 2011
Personal Declaration of Independence
The Fourth of July reminds me again of my gratitude for the innumerable freedoms I enjoy, and the prosperity of this wonderful country in which I live. It is a day to thank those who created this country and those who defend and protect it to this day.
I'm also grateful for the journey of declaring "independence". Independence from what? Well - that list is long but distinguished (to quote a favorite movie) but mainly independence from excess weight - physical and emotional. This journey has been one of twists and turns, literal and figurative ups and downs, and many realizations of the whys, wherefores, and hows it all happened. Not an easy journey, but one tremendously worthwhile and ongoing...
A few thoughts that declaring independance:
I'm also grateful for the journey of declaring "independence". Independence from what? Well - that list is long but distinguished (to quote a favorite movie) but mainly independence from excess weight - physical and emotional. This journey has been one of twists and turns, literal and figurative ups and downs, and many realizations of the whys, wherefores, and hows it all happened. Not an easy journey, but one tremendously worthwhile and ongoing...
A few thoughts that declaring independance:
- Take chances - and have no fear. The outcome may absolutely amaze and grace you
- Make mistakes. In the learning is the growing...
- Enjoy time for yourself
- Make your own way - it is likely not a straight path
- Make peace with who you really are right now
- Love yourself - it is the best way to love others
Each human traverses their one messy and precious life. In my opinion, in order to clarify where you want to go next - take some time to understand where you have been. Then and only then can one truly declare independence from the issues, problems, hurts, wrongs, and weight of the past.
Release the brakes and hit the gas...It's going to be a wild ride!
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Shifting Gears...What Is Next?
Reflecting on the first half of 2011 - it has been a bit of a blur, and I am surprised that it is over already. I learned and experienced more and different things than ever expected or dreamed in these past six months.
Not all lessons were anticipated and/or welcome. A few were most unwelcome - but as it turns out, those are the ones that are "schooling" me the best.
On the eve of Half Year New Year's Eve (silly, but whatever works), I continue to reflect on what I felt and dealt with in the First Half. What made sense, what didn't. What should stay, and more importantly - what should final, once and for all - go...
In the letting go and the jettisoning of old and worn out baggage, one can finally ask:
What's next? How exciting will it be?
For me - Can't wait to shift gears, release the brakes, and dive in...
Not all lessons were anticipated and/or welcome. A few were most unwelcome - but as it turns out, those are the ones that are "schooling" me the best.
On the eve of Half Year New Year's Eve (silly, but whatever works), I continue to reflect on what I felt and dealt with in the First Half. What made sense, what didn't. What should stay, and more importantly - what should final, once and for all - go...
In the letting go and the jettisoning of old and worn out baggage, one can finally ask:
What's next? How exciting will it be?
For me - Can't wait to shift gears, release the brakes, and dive in...
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Lucky and Blessed
Tonight, the world lost an amazing musician and human - Clarence Clemmons.
I am so lucky and blessed to have seen him live performing with the E Street Band - not once, but five times! Going to those concerts were costly and sometimes inconvenient. But I am so glad I did - especially tonight knowing that there will never again be another concert in which he will play.
Tonight was an excellent reminder to take advantage of all opportunities, all chances, all moments to do things, see things, experience things - no matter what. Someday when those opportunities are over, you will have no regrets. You will have tremedous memories of the incredible experiences that you had.
Lucky and blessed - I am and hope all are.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
I am so lucky and blessed to have seen him live performing with the E Street Band - not once, but five times! Going to those concerts were costly and sometimes inconvenient. But I am so glad I did - especially tonight knowing that there will never again be another concert in which he will play.
Tonight was an excellent reminder to take advantage of all opportunities, all chances, all moments to do things, see things, experience things - no matter what. Someday when those opportunities are over, you will have no regrets. You will have tremedous memories of the incredible experiences that you had.
Lucky and blessed - I am and hope all are.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
Sometimes...
Sometimes - its just simplicity of just spending time:
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
- Waking up and listening to the distant thunder
- A great cup of coffee
- A call from a friend to share the news of the day
- Hanging out watching a movie
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Monday, May 23, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Acting and Thinking
- Act as if starting this moment, a glorious life is before you
- Act as if the world is your oyster
- Act as if failure is impossible
- Think that any obstacle, small or large, can be overcome - because it can
- Think about all you have and all you will achieve
- Think that you are on the precipice
of phenomenal success
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Twin Cities Live Interview - May 16th, 2011
Thank you to Twin Cities Live! I had a wonderful time on the show and am looking forward to inspiring people to start because:
All glory comes from daring to begin...
What will you dare to begin today?
Twin Cities Live Interview with Carol Fitzgerald Tyler on May 16th, 2011
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
All glory comes from daring to begin...
What will you dare to begin today?
Twin Cities Live Interview with Carol Fitzgerald Tyler on May 16th, 2011
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday Monday
Monday Morning:
Raining, thunderstorms, delays, not enough sleep, too much to do, not enough time to do it, frustration, irritation...
Sound familiar?
And yet - when you need it most, the miracle happens...
A total stranger turned to me while waiting in line for Starbucks. He seemed grouchy as well, and yet, he said something incredibly complimentary and kind to me. It was just lovely, unexpected, and lifted my spirit from grumpy to pleased and almost giddy.
That moment of kindness, and being able to receive the gift of that compliment took me from irritation at the rain and the delays to being in awe of the thunderstorm and looking forward to having a chance to watch it in action.
It only takes a moment...
Carpe Diem - and may everyone have such a lovely moment today and everyday!
Raining, thunderstorms, delays, not enough sleep, too much to do, not enough time to do it, frustration, irritation...
Sound familiar?
And yet - when you need it most, the miracle happens...
A total stranger turned to me while waiting in line for Starbucks. He seemed grouchy as well, and yet, he said something incredibly complimentary and kind to me. It was just lovely, unexpected, and lifted my spirit from grumpy to pleased and almost giddy.
That moment of kindness, and being able to receive the gift of that compliment took me from irritation at the rain and the delays to being in awe of the thunderstorm and looking forward to having a chance to watch it in action.
It only takes a moment...
Carpe Diem - and may everyone have such a lovely moment today and everyday!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Amazing...
how life can twist, turn, twist again, and turn some more...
I have learned and am learning something very important - to let "it" happen.
Don't seek to control "it", but let "it" happen and allow "it" to happen.
"It" may not be perfect, but "It" will be perfect for what you need, want and intend...
Accept the gifts you are given for what they are rather than looking for the next present.
There is only one present - inhabit "it"...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
I have learned and am learning something very important - to let "it" happen.
Don't seek to control "it", but let "it" happen and allow "it" to happen.
"It" may not be perfect, but "It" will be perfect for what you need, want and intend...
Accept the gifts you are given for what they are rather than looking for the next present.
There is only one present - inhabit "it"...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
April 2010 - April 2011 Part One
Last April, I had an interesting experience at a store in Cocoa, Florida. The proprietor had me select a card from a deck - and the card had a picture of a stone called Moldavite. She told me I was soon to be going through a period of enormous change and tranformation. I thanked her for the assessment and went on my way.
Four days later I was layed off from my job.
And then - I went out and got a piece of moldavite....
Moldavite has been reported to help release all that is no longer needed for personal growth: old ideas: leftover emotional habits, whatever you know on a deep level needs to go. It helps a person to appreciate the gift that they have. People may find themselves finding more and more things to be unnecessary - like toxic relationships, anger, and irritations. One may find themselves being more authentic and honest with themselves and others.
The lesson however is not that one needs a stone, but sometimes one needs a wake-up call of some sort to begin to create a new and wonderful reality.
What a difference a year makes...
Four days later I was layed off from my job.
And then - I went out and got a piece of moldavite....
Moldavite has been reported to help release all that is no longer needed for personal growth: old ideas: leftover emotional habits, whatever you know on a deep level needs to go. It helps a person to appreciate the gift that they have. People may find themselves finding more and more things to be unnecessary - like toxic relationships, anger, and irritations. One may find themselves being more authentic and honest with themselves and others.
The lesson however is not that one needs a stone, but sometimes one needs a wake-up call of some sort to begin to create a new and wonderful reality.
What a difference a year makes...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Runneth Over?
This morning, I was feeling a bit adventurous so I decided to switch it up and have a hot cereal called Abundance instead of the usual plain sugar free oatmeal (woo hoo - big adventure). While it cooks in the microwave, I mindlessly fill up the creamer, sugar, and coffee cups – not because it is my job, but because it is the right thing to do.
Despite using the exact preparation process I have done a hundred times before, as I reach into the microwave, the Abundance cereal has overflowed the cup and is all over the microwave. I giggle and think even though the events of the past few days have been overwhelming to say the least, I am amazed that no matter what, I have so much abundance that my cup literally runneth over.
Coincidence?
In my humble opinion, coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.
A sign?
I'm thinking yes...
Although I have come to know in my core that I am richly blessed with it already, I wonder what today will bring and how abundance may present itself to me. I also intend to be open to receiving it…(whatever it is).
Fast forward through the day:
May your cup of abundance, whether in cereal or blessing form, runneth over and may you be open to receiving it all and then some.
Carpe Diem...and so it is...
Despite using the exact preparation process I have done a hundred times before, as I reach into the microwave, the Abundance cereal has overflowed the cup and is all over the microwave. I giggle and think even though the events of the past few days have been overwhelming to say the least, I am amazed that no matter what, I have so much abundance that my cup literally runneth over.
Coincidence?
In my humble opinion, coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.
A sign?
I'm thinking yes...
Although I have come to know in my core that I am richly blessed with it already, I wonder what today will bring and how abundance may present itself to me. I also intend to be open to receiving it…(whatever it is).
Fast forward through the day:
- Calls from old friends asking for support and advice - and I have the "right" words for them
- Conversations at work and I have the "right" words for them
- Some amazing opportunities present themselves, and I have the "right" words for them
May your cup of abundance, whether in cereal or blessing form, runneth over and may you be open to receiving it all and then some.
Carpe Diem...and so it is...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sharing Intention...
I intend to pay a visit to the Oprah Show - as they are seeking guests who have lost more than one hundred pounds without surgery. Below is the entry I submitted. Please intend with me...I wish to inspire others to live a healthier life full of the possibilities of Carpe Diem...
My 101 pound weight loss has been a long journey, but finally a successful one. Beginning in 2001, I weighed 248 pounds. I found myself literally unable to move with severe joint pain and swelling, due to a recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia and possible rheumatoid arthritis. Quickly losing 50 pounds, I completed a half marathon six months later. Then I promptly returned to my previous high weight. Struggling throughout the years, I would lose ten pounds and gain back fifteen. No fad diets worked, and basically miserable, I quit trying.
In May 2006, after tripping in an intersection and not being able to be lifted by a strong friend and my own power, I decided my girth was epic, and enough was really enough. Shortly after that embarrassing moment, Dr. Oz appeared on the Oprah show, discussing the effects of white food and sugar on the body. His gentle but firm demeanor and his reasonable approach to a healthy lifestyle somehow touched me and motivated me to start again. I began with small changes, and those lead to the inclusion of whole wheat pasta, vegetables and fruits, and smaller portion sizes. I once again returned to exercise, but this time embraced it instead of thinking of it as a curse.
I now weigh 147 pounds. Despite ongoing and occasionally debilitating fibromyalgia, I lost weight and gained fitness the old fashioned way – don’t eat so much and move your body regularly. After being told I would not be able to walk much, I am currently a veteran of eight half marathons, three Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure events, and four marathons (three of which were completed in 71 days in late 2009). Not being a runner, I walk and go as quickly as possible with my mantra that I think I can. Every finish line I greet with joy and gratitude. I have sustained my weight loss for a year (give or take a few pounds) and am delighted to pay forward any inspiration to others who may need some assistance to move forward toward better health.
My 101 pound weight loss has been a long journey, but finally a successful one. Beginning in 2001, I weighed 248 pounds. I found myself literally unable to move with severe joint pain and swelling, due to a recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia and possible rheumatoid arthritis. Quickly losing 50 pounds, I completed a half marathon six months later. Then I promptly returned to my previous high weight. Struggling throughout the years, I would lose ten pounds and gain back fifteen. No fad diets worked, and basically miserable, I quit trying.
In May 2006, after tripping in an intersection and not being able to be lifted by a strong friend and my own power, I decided my girth was epic, and enough was really enough. Shortly after that embarrassing moment, Dr. Oz appeared on the Oprah show, discussing the effects of white food and sugar on the body. His gentle but firm demeanor and his reasonable approach to a healthy lifestyle somehow touched me and motivated me to start again. I began with small changes, and those lead to the inclusion of whole wheat pasta, vegetables and fruits, and smaller portion sizes. I once again returned to exercise, but this time embraced it instead of thinking of it as a curse.
I now weigh 147 pounds. Despite ongoing and occasionally debilitating fibromyalgia, I lost weight and gained fitness the old fashioned way – don’t eat so much and move your body regularly. After being told I would not be able to walk much, I am currently a veteran of eight half marathons, three Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure events, and four marathons (three of which were completed in 71 days in late 2009). Not being a runner, I walk and go as quickly as possible with my mantra that I think I can. Every finish line I greet with joy and gratitude. I have sustained my weight loss for a year (give or take a few pounds) and am delighted to pay forward any inspiration to others who may need some assistance to move forward toward better health.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Authenticity
Be authentic - always...
Pretending to be anything other than who you really are prevents you from reaching your personal potential.
In being yourself - you can accept and embody the miraculous circumstances and gifts that have come together to create YOU...
And then - well, imagine what can be...
Pretending to be anything other than who you really are prevents you from reaching your personal potential.
In being yourself - you can accept and embody the miraculous circumstances and gifts that have come together to create YOU...
And then - well, imagine what can be...
Friday, April 8, 2011
No Matter What
- Get Up
- Face It
- Feel It
- Deal with It
Know down to the last cell in your body that you can handle it all and then some...
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Now Is Really The Only Moment...
This is THE moment in which to live fully - because the next moment can bring more joy, or it can bring news that is unwelcome, and a battle that must be fought on all fronts.
Do the things you want to do and be with the people with whom you want to spend time. Anything else is not authentic, and when it comes down to it - a waste of the moments you have been given that you can never reclaim.
Unconditionally love fiercely those who are "your people". Guard them with your life and give them all you can give - no matter what.
Treasure it all - every every every moment, profound or simple, grand or "everyday". Waste not one thought on the negative or the trivial - because you just never know when it can all change.
And if it does change, regrets are not what you want to have, rather exceptional memories of all that was enjoyed in THE MOMENT...
Do the things you want to do and be with the people with whom you want to spend time. Anything else is not authentic, and when it comes down to it - a waste of the moments you have been given that you can never reclaim.
Unconditionally love fiercely those who are "your people". Guard them with your life and give them all you can give - no matter what.
Treasure it all - every every every moment, profound or simple, grand or "everyday". Waste not one thought on the negative or the trivial - because you just never know when it can all change.
And if it does change, regrets are not what you want to have, rather exceptional memories of all that was enjoyed in THE MOMENT...
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Inspiration is Everywhere - Meredith's Story
As part of working with the American Cancer Society DetermiNation program, I have the opportunity to write articles about some of the runners and walkers that will be raising money and awareness in the Denver Rock N Roll Marathon and Half Marathon taking place in October 2011. This week, I had the good fortune to interview Meredith Meegan. She is dedicated to helping cure cancer to honor her mother, whose battle with a brain tumor ended sixteen years ago. Meredith has big plans - and has provided big inspiration. I'm honored to tell her story.
Meredith Meegan: Mother, Runner, and DetermiNation Warrior
By Carol Fitzgerald Tyler
Passion, determination and strength are words that describe Meredith Meegan. After talking with Meredith, her intense commitment to advocate for curing cancer is evident from the moment the conversation began. The loss of her mother to an aggressive brain tumor is the driving force behind her running and her charitable contributions.
Currently in rehabilitation for a tendonitis issue, Meredith is taking a break from running and is focusing on healing. Not running is challenging for her, as she typically averages between 35 and 40 miles a week. She is “trying to see the big picture” and believes that a course in physical therapy will make her even stronger than before. “Running is something that simply just clicks with my body and mind”, she says. Her family thinks she is somewhat “obsessed” and “insane”, however, she claims “it’s just what works for me. Running changes your mental make-up, you need more and more and more.”
Meredith’s running actually began when her mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor sixteen years ago. She started by going to the gym with her mother, who she describes as a positive well-minded individual. She began by running for two minutes, which was extremely difficult at the time. She stayed home for a year caring for her mother, and ran the entire time. Little by little she increased her time to thirty minutes. She also started participating in 5K’s and then worked up to longer distances.
Meredith describes her relationship with her mother as “amazing”. She can’t say enough about her, and said that there will never be anyone quite like her. She describes her mother’s absence as defining her as much as her presence ever did. As difficult as her loss was then, her mother is still a part of her daily thoughts, and like any other muscle, she works on the grief muscles. “The grief muscle keeps getting stronger. I know it will knock me down, but I can still get back up.” Sometimes she thinks that the grief mode has a purpose to continue and connect her with her mother, and that it is a fundamental part of who she is.
Meredith’s mother passed away at age 55, three months before her wedding. Meredith shopped for wedding and funeral flowers at the same time knowing that her mother’s passing was close. The toasts at her wedding were both congratulatory to her and her husband, but also had a eulogy quality for those who were unable to attend her mother’s funeral.
With strength and conviction, Meredith has moved to using her grief to work towards helping others in the fight against cancer. “When you lose someone that close to you, it’s like you lose a limb. But you must realize that even with that missing limb, you can still walk, you can still run. You find other ways to compensate for it. ”
With three children under the age of ten (6, 8, and 10), finding time for running and self-care isn’t always easy. Luckily, Meredith is a self-proclaimed morning person and is often the first one to enter the gym at 5:00 a.m. Taking care of the care giver is an important concept and her early morning trips to the treadmill provide time to run and mentally prepare for the day ahead.
A veteran of three full marathons and one half marathon, her first experience was the New York City Marathon in 2000. Participating for the Fred’s Team charity which benefits Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, she and her husband were fortunate enough to win the marathon entry lottery. During that marathon, Meredith was able to see her elderly grandmother as she raced near her apartment. Given the number of people who are spectators – it was a gift to be able to share a hug as she ran by. Meredith has also participated in the Chicago Marathon and the Phoenix Rock N Roll Marathon.
Even though Meredith has long been a major advocate for curing cancer, her involvement with the Denver ACS DetermiNation program happened by pure coincidence. She was leaving the gym a few months ago after what she describes as a “good and satisfying run”, and she saw Stacey Hicks at the DetermiNation table. After just a short time of talking over the program, she made the instant decision to “do this”. “I am a fairly impulsive person, and the program hit on my passion from the get go” she said. “I don’t just want to be involved but I want to be uber involved.” She will be participating in the full Denver marathon and is determined to work through her current course of physical therapy to do just that.
Meredith doesn’t see any barriers raising the funds for the program. When it comes to cancer and honoring her mother’s legacy, asking for contributions to help cure the disease is simple. Her friends and family have been more than generous and helpful in the past, particularly while raising approximately $2,500 for Fred’s Team at the New York City Marathon in 2000. She believes she will hit her goal of at least $1,250 and likely more as she embarks on her fundraising campaign for Denver in the next week or so.
When talking about her goals for the Denver DetermiNation program and for the marathon event, she would love to see the marathon grow in both the number of participants and in stature. Having the Denver Rock N Roll Full and Half marathons become a marquee event for Denver would be great for both the city and the program.
When describing why she is committed to the DetermiNation program, she said “the cause needs money and attention. Such empowerment, compassion, and energy occurs in those who have come together and have chosen to fight this battle. No two cancers are alike, there is something uniquely bonding about dealing with that”.
Meredith can’t wait to complete her physical therapy and get back to running. When asked what her goals are? She says, “to be a life- long runner and life- long warrior in the battle to end cancer in the world”. All of us at DetermiNation can’t wait to welcome Meredith. Her passionate drive to cure cancer goes hand in hand with her determination to cross the finish line at the Denver Marathon in October.
For questions on the American Cancer Society DetermiNation program – please contact:
Valerie Passerini
Endurance Event Manager - DetermiNation
American Cancer Society, Inc. - Great West Division
2255 South Oneida Street Denver, CO 80224
720.524.5410
Meredith Meegan: Mother, Runner, and DetermiNation Warrior
By Carol Fitzgerald Tyler
Passion, determination and strength are words that describe Meredith Meegan. After talking with Meredith, her intense commitment to advocate for curing cancer is evident from the moment the conversation began. The loss of her mother to an aggressive brain tumor is the driving force behind her running and her charitable contributions.
Currently in rehabilitation for a tendonitis issue, Meredith is taking a break from running and is focusing on healing. Not running is challenging for her, as she typically averages between 35 and 40 miles a week. She is “trying to see the big picture” and believes that a course in physical therapy will make her even stronger than before. “Running is something that simply just clicks with my body and mind”, she says. Her family thinks she is somewhat “obsessed” and “insane”, however, she claims “it’s just what works for me. Running changes your mental make-up, you need more and more and more.”
Meredith’s running actually began when her mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor sixteen years ago. She started by going to the gym with her mother, who she describes as a positive well-minded individual. She began by running for two minutes, which was extremely difficult at the time. She stayed home for a year caring for her mother, and ran the entire time. Little by little she increased her time to thirty minutes. She also started participating in 5K’s and then worked up to longer distances.
Meredith describes her relationship with her mother as “amazing”. She can’t say enough about her, and said that there will never be anyone quite like her. She describes her mother’s absence as defining her as much as her presence ever did. As difficult as her loss was then, her mother is still a part of her daily thoughts, and like any other muscle, she works on the grief muscles. “The grief muscle keeps getting stronger. I know it will knock me down, but I can still get back up.” Sometimes she thinks that the grief mode has a purpose to continue and connect her with her mother, and that it is a fundamental part of who she is.
Meredith’s mother passed away at age 55, three months before her wedding. Meredith shopped for wedding and funeral flowers at the same time knowing that her mother’s passing was close. The toasts at her wedding were both congratulatory to her and her husband, but also had a eulogy quality for those who were unable to attend her mother’s funeral.
With strength and conviction, Meredith has moved to using her grief to work towards helping others in the fight against cancer. “When you lose someone that close to you, it’s like you lose a limb. But you must realize that even with that missing limb, you can still walk, you can still run. You find other ways to compensate for it. ”
With three children under the age of ten (6, 8, and 10), finding time for running and self-care isn’t always easy. Luckily, Meredith is a self-proclaimed morning person and is often the first one to enter the gym at 5:00 a.m. Taking care of the care giver is an important concept and her early morning trips to the treadmill provide time to run and mentally prepare for the day ahead.
A veteran of three full marathons and one half marathon, her first experience was the New York City Marathon in 2000. Participating for the Fred’s Team charity which benefits Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, she and her husband were fortunate enough to win the marathon entry lottery. During that marathon, Meredith was able to see her elderly grandmother as she raced near her apartment. Given the number of people who are spectators – it was a gift to be able to share a hug as she ran by. Meredith has also participated in the Chicago Marathon and the Phoenix Rock N Roll Marathon.
Even though Meredith has long been a major advocate for curing cancer, her involvement with the Denver ACS DetermiNation program happened by pure coincidence. She was leaving the gym a few months ago after what she describes as a “good and satisfying run”, and she saw Stacey Hicks at the DetermiNation table. After just a short time of talking over the program, she made the instant decision to “do this”. “I am a fairly impulsive person, and the program hit on my passion from the get go” she said. “I don’t just want to be involved but I want to be uber involved.” She will be participating in the full Denver marathon and is determined to work through her current course of physical therapy to do just that.
Meredith doesn’t see any barriers raising the funds for the program. When it comes to cancer and honoring her mother’s legacy, asking for contributions to help cure the disease is simple. Her friends and family have been more than generous and helpful in the past, particularly while raising approximately $2,500 for Fred’s Team at the New York City Marathon in 2000. She believes she will hit her goal of at least $1,250 and likely more as she embarks on her fundraising campaign for Denver in the next week or so.
When talking about her goals for the Denver DetermiNation program and for the marathon event, she would love to see the marathon grow in both the number of participants and in stature. Having the Denver Rock N Roll Full and Half marathons become a marquee event for Denver would be great for both the city and the program.
When describing why she is committed to the DetermiNation program, she said “the cause needs money and attention. Such empowerment, compassion, and energy occurs in those who have come together and have chosen to fight this battle. No two cancers are alike, there is something uniquely bonding about dealing with that”.
Meredith can’t wait to complete her physical therapy and get back to running. When asked what her goals are? She says, “to be a life- long runner and life- long warrior in the battle to end cancer in the world”. All of us at DetermiNation can’t wait to welcome Meredith. Her passionate drive to cure cancer goes hand in hand with her determination to cross the finish line at the Denver Marathon in October.
For questions on the American Cancer Society DetermiNation program – please contact:
Valerie Passerini
Endurance Event Manager - DetermiNation
American Cancer Society, Inc. - Great West Division
2255 South Oneida Street Denver, CO 80224
720.524.5410
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Plans - Big or Small - Make 'Em!
I have been doing a lot of strategic planning in the last several weeks. In addition to a project on which I am working, I have been "planning" for other events in 2011, including half and full marathons, a variety of trips, and some other milestones. Ok - I have been calling it "planning", but truth be told - it's been more of a mild dither back and forth.
To make big things happen, make big plans. Big plans mean that big and great things are forthcoming. Make time to do great things.
No doubts, no listening to the nay sayers (ignore them, perhaps they will go away...). Make your plans, put them out there, and go for it.
I'm not one to dither or to be bored for long, so HUGE plans, here I come...And once decided, I always swing for the fences.
- Do I have time?
- Do I have inclination?
- Will the stars align?
- Will tickets be available?
- What will the weather be in June?
- But...
- What if...
- Blah blah blah...
To make big things happen, make big plans. Big plans mean that big and great things are forthcoming. Make time to do great things.
No doubts, no listening to the nay sayers (ignore them, perhaps they will go away...). Make your plans, put them out there, and go for it.
I'm not one to dither or to be bored for long, so HUGE plans, here I come...And once decided, I always swing for the fences.
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Friday, February 11, 2011
Right Here, Right Now
Part of being a strategist and a planner is constantly looking at the future and considering all things that may happen. No matter what the event - a marathon, a project (perhaps one in the same?), a class, an activity, a weight loss undertaking, a college education, a dinner party - I ask questions like:
However, no matter what the project being planning, remember that plans are just that, and that one must live in the "today" world as much as the "tomorrow" world.
One can plan to complete a marathon six months from now, but today, that person has to get out and run. One can plan to lose the ten pounds for some future date or event, but today healthy choices must be made to achieve the desired healthy weight of tomorrow.
Today is always a new beginning and another chance to live in the present and look to the future.
Tomorrow, and all the forthcoming tomorrows are just extensions of Right Here and Right Now.
Do Right Now - and tomorrow will be on it's way.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
- What is the date?
- What is the goal?
- What are the risks?
- What are the rewards?
- What are the implications?
- What happens if the date is missed? (tough one for an organized marathon or for losing weight in time for an event)
- Can that date be made? Reasonably?
However, no matter what the project being planning, remember that plans are just that, and that one must live in the "today" world as much as the "tomorrow" world.
One can plan to complete a marathon six months from now, but today, that person has to get out and run. One can plan to lose the ten pounds for some future date or event, but today healthy choices must be made to achieve the desired healthy weight of tomorrow.
Today is always a new beginning and another chance to live in the present and look to the future.
Tomorrow, and all the forthcoming tomorrows are just extensions of Right Here and Right Now.
Do Right Now - and tomorrow will be on it's way.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Finishing Is The Key to Starting
I ran across a statement this weekend that got me thinking (again)
In order for there to be a start, there has to be a finish
I love to start new things - new books, new workouts, new marathon trainings, new trips, new projects. However, I am not always great about finishing. At this moment, there are at least five books on my nightstand, two more on my Nook, and one in my computer bag. All but the one in my bag has been started, and then put on pause. Projects - well, let's just say I have been working on my office and organizing files for a good long time. I've been starting a diet every Monday since November, but never finishing the unhealthy eating habits that have crept back into my routine. And as a side note - diets don't work anyway. I know better, and my weight loss success has been based on healthy eating and moderation - not deprivation and diets. Why I decided to start a diet each week is based in not finishing slugging through the issues instead of letting them literally "eat" away at me.
Getting started on some things has been challenging in the last months - but when I really reflected on the statement above, I realized that what I needed more than new distractions was to finish.
Finish what? Well, suffice it to say finish some unpleasant emotional business. Finish taking on roles that make me unhappy. Finish making excuses. Finish whining. Finish feeling bad. Just finish...
So, this is not a week of a start, but rather a week of the finish. I won't be finishing all the books in progress, but I will decide which ones to "finish" for now. What I am committed to finishing above all else is the "stuff" that is getting in the way of my healthiness. For it is only when you finish and get rid of that which is "weighing on you" that a real start can occur.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
In order for there to be a start, there has to be a finish
I love to start new things - new books, new workouts, new marathon trainings, new trips, new projects. However, I am not always great about finishing. At this moment, there are at least five books on my nightstand, two more on my Nook, and one in my computer bag. All but the one in my bag has been started, and then put on pause. Projects - well, let's just say I have been working on my office and organizing files for a good long time. I've been starting a diet every Monday since November, but never finishing the unhealthy eating habits that have crept back into my routine. And as a side note - diets don't work anyway. I know better, and my weight loss success has been based on healthy eating and moderation - not deprivation and diets. Why I decided to start a diet each week is based in not finishing slugging through the issues instead of letting them literally "eat" away at me.
Getting started on some things has been challenging in the last months - but when I really reflected on the statement above, I realized that what I needed more than new distractions was to finish.
Finish what? Well, suffice it to say finish some unpleasant emotional business. Finish taking on roles that make me unhappy. Finish making excuses. Finish whining. Finish feeling bad. Just finish...
So, this is not a week of a start, but rather a week of the finish. I won't be finishing all the books in progress, but I will decide which ones to "finish" for now. What I am committed to finishing above all else is the "stuff" that is getting in the way of my healthiness. For it is only when you finish and get rid of that which is "weighing on you" that a real start can occur.
Carpe Diem - and so it is...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Reunited, and It Feels So Good!
When any relationship feels like more work than pleasure, or more demanding than joyous, it can be good to pause, walk away, and take a break for a while. It doesn't mean it's "over", it just needs some space.
I needed a break from my relationship with distance events and workouts after November 6th, 2010. Truth be told - the end was in sight long before that. Although I experienced extreme joy working with a disabled athlete at the NYC Marathon, I did not enjoy any workouts that lead up to the marathon. My head wasn't in the game, and that lack of commitment appeared in my performance, as well as my waistline.
The fitness relationship that had been forged started slipping in early May of 2010. The gym was boring, and the outdoors just seemed too, well outdoors. Oh, I went through the motions, and ecked out a couple half marathons because I'm stubborn. I even managed to power through a three day 60 mile event. On the morning of the November 6th, 2010 as I dressed to complete 26.2 miles, the image in the mirror knew she wasn't ready. It was then I knew it was over, at least for now.
I had worked so hard to create a healthy, fit body - and suddenly that wasn't enough. The seeds of doubt and familiarity crept in, and the "coasting" began. We all know the "coasting" - enough effort to get by, to sustain, to manage. Yes, there was the initial evidence of a "muffin top", but it was only a few pounds, and the "skinny jeans" still fit. Yes - there should have been more spinach and less whipped cream, but why not? Life is short, right? All signs of boredom, distain, and apathy...
Why did I lose interest? Well - that could take up a book (which is in the process of being written). All that matters is that I did lose interest, lose passion, and lose desire to caretake the relationship. So I walked away and got together with my old habits. I thought we would be happy together - eating and drinking and avoiding exercise.
Not So Much...
I suddenly wanted to get back together with my body. I missed it, and pined for it, and no amount of dark chocolate could turn me away from the feeling of strong abs and successfully completing a distance event as a well trained and conditioned participant. The siren call of ice cream was over...The desire to sooth with sugar was over...
Last night I went back to the gym for the first time since November, and it was as welcoming as the father of the prodigal son. Slowly I got back on the treadmill, and as we became reacquainted, it was as if we had never said goodbye. It felt so good to complete a workout! Although I am sore this morning from some overzealous yoga work on my abs, it is the sore that lets you know all is right with the world.
It is going to take a bit of time to get back into full swing, but the heart is willing, the forgiveness complete, the rhythm and patterns beginning to re-establish themselves, and to improve and be stronger than before.
The second time around has been know to be even better than the first. Reunited - and it feels so good...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
I needed a break from my relationship with distance events and workouts after November 6th, 2010. Truth be told - the end was in sight long before that. Although I experienced extreme joy working with a disabled athlete at the NYC Marathon, I did not enjoy any workouts that lead up to the marathon. My head wasn't in the game, and that lack of commitment appeared in my performance, as well as my waistline.
The fitness relationship that had been forged started slipping in early May of 2010. The gym was boring, and the outdoors just seemed too, well outdoors. Oh, I went through the motions, and ecked out a couple half marathons because I'm stubborn. I even managed to power through a three day 60 mile event. On the morning of the November 6th, 2010 as I dressed to complete 26.2 miles, the image in the mirror knew she wasn't ready. It was then I knew it was over, at least for now.
I had worked so hard to create a healthy, fit body - and suddenly that wasn't enough. The seeds of doubt and familiarity crept in, and the "coasting" began. We all know the "coasting" - enough effort to get by, to sustain, to manage. Yes, there was the initial evidence of a "muffin top", but it was only a few pounds, and the "skinny jeans" still fit. Yes - there should have been more spinach and less whipped cream, but why not? Life is short, right? All signs of boredom, distain, and apathy...
Why did I lose interest? Well - that could take up a book (which is in the process of being written). All that matters is that I did lose interest, lose passion, and lose desire to caretake the relationship. So I walked away and got together with my old habits. I thought we would be happy together - eating and drinking and avoiding exercise.
Not So Much...
I suddenly wanted to get back together with my body. I missed it, and pined for it, and no amount of dark chocolate could turn me away from the feeling of strong abs and successfully completing a distance event as a well trained and conditioned participant. The siren call of ice cream was over...The desire to sooth with sugar was over...
Last night I went back to the gym for the first time since November, and it was as welcoming as the father of the prodigal son. Slowly I got back on the treadmill, and as we became reacquainted, it was as if we had never said goodbye. It felt so good to complete a workout! Although I am sore this morning from some overzealous yoga work on my abs, it is the sore that lets you know all is right with the world.
It is going to take a bit of time to get back into full swing, but the heart is willing, the forgiveness complete, the rhythm and patterns beginning to re-establish themselves, and to improve and be stronger than before.
The second time around has been know to be even better than the first. Reunited - and it feels so good...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Wagon - It's Back On!
It's January 14th, 2011 - 14 days into the New Year which is replete with declarations of resolutions, intentions, and goals.
I haven't been perfect these last 14 days, but have at least been consciously aware of what I am eating, drinking, and sneaking (sweet potato fries are NOT healthy no matter what explanation is given. It's the word "fry" that gives that away...)
Today while dressing, I was pleasantly surprised that a pair of slacks that were snug two weeks ago are loose again. The belt that was on the first notch is now on the third. Waking up and being mindful really does make a difference - not only in weight, but in life.
Small changes and small re-arranges all equal moderates losses. Just the encouragement I needed to keep those intentions. That kind of belt is a joy to tighten.
Carpe Diem and so it is...
I haven't been perfect these last 14 days, but have at least been consciously aware of what I am eating, drinking, and sneaking (sweet potato fries are NOT healthy no matter what explanation is given. It's the word "fry" that gives that away...)
Today while dressing, I was pleasantly surprised that a pair of slacks that were snug two weeks ago are loose again. The belt that was on the first notch is now on the third. Waking up and being mindful really does make a difference - not only in weight, but in life.
Small changes and small re-arranges all equal moderates losses. Just the encouragement I needed to keep those intentions. That kind of belt is a joy to tighten.
Carpe Diem and so it is...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011 - What A Year It Will Be
2010 is over. Obvious statement though that may be, for me, it is beyond over. It is:
The first half though - well, despite a few shining moments, suffice it to say again - Cancel, Clear, Delete. I'm resolved to think of it as my chance to let go (something I am learning to do better).
2010 - Thanks for the memories and lessons. However - Done, Over, Basta. Cancel, Clear, Delete.
2011 - As with most of humanity, it is with excitement and anticipation that I greet this new year. It feels great already.
How did this new and wonderous year arrive? Quietly with a family dinner on the eve, and with a continued quiet day at home on the 1st. The quiet was not a result of overindulgence, but rather one last day of dark clouds, winter hibernation, and peace before this New Year really gets into gear.
Today - I awoke to a stunning winter sunrise. The icy cold has completely cleared the air.
And in that clarity - things look so bright again.
- Cancel
- Clear
- Delete
The first half though - well, despite a few shining moments, suffice it to say again - Cancel, Clear, Delete. I'm resolved to think of it as my chance to let go (something I am learning to do better).
2010 - Thanks for the memories and lessons. However - Done, Over, Basta. Cancel, Clear, Delete.
2011 - As with most of humanity, it is with excitement and anticipation that I greet this new year. It feels great already.
How did this new and wonderous year arrive? Quietly with a family dinner on the eve, and with a continued quiet day at home on the 1st. The quiet was not a result of overindulgence, but rather one last day of dark clouds, winter hibernation, and peace before this New Year really gets into gear.
Today - I awoke to a stunning winter sunrise. The icy cold has completely cleared the air.
And in that clarity - things look so bright again.
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