Thanks for the Memories

When one thing is cleaned (in my case the carpets) - there seems to be an impulse to clean other things.  In that process - more "things" appear to be cleaned and there is more work that appears and needs to be completed.  So it seems...


Yesterday - I set out to put back together the master bedroom and closet.  This was to be about a one hour task.  I started at 9:00 am and finished at 6:15 pm (after taking 45 minutes for lunch of course...).


The results - fabulous!  The journey - well, "Thanks for the Memories"


The cleaning itself was very therapeutic - washing away dust and dirt can be a powerful metaphor when one is in a heavy duty transformation cycle.  It is amazing some of the places that dust lives - and how a q-tip  must be used to remove said dust.  I was certainly in a very "detailed" (read retentive) mood yesterday so no detail was left undone. 


The closet challenge was the most difficult and the most time consuming.  Although it has been steadily purged of oversized clothing - I have been "hiding" some things.  And as I found out with the purging of the Venice to Trieste train tickets - letting go of these "treasures" and security blankets proved to be more difficult than I thought.


Hiding Things
I have been steadily moving oversized workout clothes and "unmentionable's" to the most remote drawers in the closet.  Also - suits, shirts, sweaters have been circulating to the back rungs of the far corners.  All these items have been stored there for a "just in case" moment.  I like to be prepared - and have been saving these items for the "just in case I gain 30 pounds by tomorrow" scenario that has been a subject of more than one nightmare and thought process (silly - yes, but a Yeti could come to the front door as well - that's why there should always be a steak in the freezer...just in case).


I started with the "unmentionable" drawer and emptied it on the very clean and fresh floor of the closet.  There lay a variety of items that represented a different time and place (without going into detail - primative versions of Spanx-like things circa the year 2000 were everywhere).  I keep circling and saving - putting "well I could maybe still use this" back in the drawer.  A short while later - everything was back in the drawer.  This wasn't going well...


After a short recess - I returned with renewed ruthlessness and a trash bag.  Deep breath taken - all things that didn't fit (which of course was everything) went into the bag.  Oy Vey...I could hardly breath...what if that 30 pounds reappeared tomorrow?  (it didn't - by the way)


This panic attack was then followed by the Raid on the Really Old Workout Clothes drawer (circa 2001-2002).  This one contained such antiquities as my 2001 Team Diabetes singlet from the Disneyworld Half Marathon, the grey workout shorts that would now fit any one of the linebackers at Vikings training camp, and the infamous Air Force t-shirt (lovingly dubbed AF1 - there is an updated and less worn version called AF2). 


I considered the singlet as a momento - but it's day was done and I remembered it clinging to my skin in the rain after the Disneyworld Half Marathon finish and smelling not so good.  The shorts - well, let's just say they were the easiest item to leave the premises (quite unattractive, and I wondered if I resembled a linebacker while wearing them - and given that timeframe, my answer would be yes). 


But there was that t-shirt...


Ratty, ripped, oft referred to as the "Flash Dance" shirt - it was threadbare, and the words "AIR FORCE" were peeling off.  My uncle, the Colonel bought it for me about 150 years ago and I wore it ALL the time.  It was an XXL and it was sweat in, sat around in, laughed in, cryed in, slept in, and dreamed in.  It was THE go to t-shirt whenever absolute comfort was required.  Over the years - it logged more miles than most people do, and its journeys included trips from Israel to California to New Jersey.  As the washing continued, it sucumbed to time and soap and around the year 2000 - it began to rip (hence the Flash Dance reference).  It was retired to the drawer of long lost workout clothes in early 2002.  I have brought it out from time to time to recall some of the events to which it had been worn, but it had long been untouched. 


I knew the time had come to say goodbye and put it on one last time.  A million memories poured back as I closed my eyes and saw myself wearing it.  Some good, so difficult - but all part of me.  However, there was a realization that a smelly old t-shirt wasn't required to have those memories - it was merely a catalyst, not the memory itself.  I could still have those without AF1.  Off it came - and into the bag it went.  (brief moment of silence).  It was so funny that almost immediately - I felt lighter and less "weighty".  But letting it go will give me so much more room for the wonderful things that will be coming with the new shirts that will be THE go to's for comfort and security (and they will actually fit).  I'm not giving up AF2 anytime soon - but new things will fill in the gaps. 


Cleaning and clearing - I'm doing better at this daunting task and yesterday was a great step forward in the need to hide things for fear of sudden weight gain and Yeti visits. And - my closet is ready for more! We will discuss the freezer another time...


Carpe Diem and so it is...

Clearing Out to Bring More In - Inspiration in the oddest places

Today was carpet cleaning day - and all the "stuff" in the house is all over the place.  I really don't like that at all and it's making me crabby.  However, as is my "new world order" - there is an advantage to all this turbulence, and it is causing me to go through some miscellaneous folders removed from their neatly stacked up spot on the office floor.  Old receipts, scrapes of paper, and a big folder full of torn out articles, pictures, etc. that have been preserved for use "someday".  If I have learned anything this summer - it is to clear out the clutter of someday usefulness, give away, throw away and create a fresh start.

Sitting on the floor of the guest bath (while the humidity in the house started to rise with the steam carpet cleaner and the excessive heat outside), I started ruthlessly going through the papers, and was being very good about throwing out that which no longer served.  I liked (she says hopefully in the past tense) to hold on to things, and am actively working on letting things (of all nature) go.  Laughing at the age of some of these papers, it was interesting to recall how much importance was attached to them so long ago.  

Soon, I came to the articles/pictures/quotes pieces.  There was a picture of Angelina Jolie in her full Lara Croft outfit.  Now before there are any questions - it was inspirational at a time when I weighed about 100 pounds more than I do now.  My question was if it was to serve as a visual of a better body - why was the picture stuck in an old icky manila folder? 

The last folder was a variety of interesting artifacts from a cruise of the Mediterrean in 2004.  These objects of great value included used train tickets from Venice to Trieste, receipts from some cafe in Athens, and (literally) 10 postcards of the same picture from the hotel in Venice.  I did find some fun things that are now preserved to go into the scrapebook I'll be making...(and that is the funniest thing I have yet written).   In the last folder, a little scrape of paper fell out and stared me in the face.  It was a quote from Epictetus - a nice Greek boy born in 55 AD and an agent for Stoic ethics (see below for more details).  As I have been considering the next steps in transformation and the emergence from my cocoon  - there has certainly been a lot of "back and forth" about how to go about it.  The quote certainly spoke to that, and as my learning continues - it was suppose to...

"Caretake this moment.  Immerse yourself in its particulars.  Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed.  Quit the evasions.  Stop giving yourself needless trouble.
It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now."
Epictetus

Sometimes in the process of letting go - you receive so much more than you "lose"...

Carpe Diem!



Epictetus
A Greek philosopher of 1st and early 2nd centuries C.E., and an exponent of Stoic ethics notable for the consistency and power of his ethical thought and for effective methods of teaching. Epictetus' chief concerns are with integrity, self-management, and personal freedom, which he advocates by demanding of his students a thorough examination of two central ideas, the capacity he terms ‘volition’ and the correct use of impressions.  Heartfelt and satirical by turns, Epictetus has had significant influence on the popular moralistic tradition, but he is more than a moralizer; his lucid resystematization and challenging application of Stoic ethics qualify him as an important philosopher in his own right.

Welcome! Carpe Diem and Enjoy!

Welcome to the new blog -

11CarpeDiem.blogspot.com.

In the next several posts, I will be introducing myself as well as the thoughts behind this blog and it's title.  In the meantime - my goal is to provide useful, positive, and entertaining notes on places, things, and the general status of a wonderful life as well as attract lots of "followers" and their thoughts and comments !  Stay tuned as you never know what will appear in this blog - my mind sometimes takes some pretty unusual twists and turns. 

To start the ball rolling - the thought of today:

We can do anything we want, and I for one do not want to waste that.  When I reach 85, I want to know that I said "Yes", instead of regretting that I said "No".