When any relationship feels like more work than pleasure, or more demanding than joyous, it can be good to pause, walk away, and take a break for a while. It doesn't mean it's "over", it just needs some space.
I needed a break from my relationship with distance events and workouts after November 6th, 2010. Truth be told - the end was in sight long before that. Although I experienced extreme joy working with a disabled athlete at the NYC Marathon, I did not enjoy any workouts that lead up to the marathon. My head wasn't in the game, and that lack of commitment appeared in my performance, as well as my waistline.
The fitness relationship that had been forged started slipping in early May of 2010. The gym was boring, and the outdoors just seemed too, well outdoors. Oh, I went through the motions, and ecked out a couple half marathons because I'm stubborn. I even managed to power through a three day 60 mile event. On the morning of the November 6th, 2010 as I dressed to complete 26.2 miles, the image in the mirror knew she wasn't ready. It was then I knew it was over, at least for now.
I had worked so hard to create a healthy, fit body - and suddenly that wasn't enough. The seeds of doubt and familiarity crept in, and the "coasting" began. We all know the "coasting" - enough effort to get by, to sustain, to manage. Yes, there was the initial evidence of a "muffin top", but it was only a few pounds, and the "skinny jeans" still fit. Yes - there should have been more spinach and less whipped cream, but why not? Life is short, right? All signs of boredom, distain, and apathy...
Why did I lose interest? Well - that could take up a book (which is in the process of being written). All that matters is that I did lose interest, lose passion, and lose desire to caretake the relationship. So I walked away and got together with my old habits. I thought we would be happy together - eating and drinking and avoiding exercise.
Not So Much...
I suddenly wanted to get back together with my body. I missed it, and pined for it, and no amount of dark chocolate could turn me away from the feeling of strong abs and successfully completing a distance event as a well trained and conditioned participant. The siren call of ice cream was over...The desire to sooth with sugar was over...
Last night I went back to the gym for the first time since November, and it was as welcoming as the father of the prodigal son. Slowly I got back on the treadmill, and as we became reacquainted, it was as if we had never said goodbye. It felt so good to complete a workout! Although I am sore this morning from some overzealous yoga work on my abs, it is the sore that lets you know all is right with the world.
It is going to take a bit of time to get back into full swing, but the heart is willing, the forgiveness complete, the rhythm and patterns beginning to re-establish themselves, and to improve and be stronger than before.
The second time around has been know to be even better than the first. Reunited - and it feels so good...
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
About Me
- Carol Fitzgerald Tyler
- I lost 103 pounds without surgery, and there was great rejoicing! However - over the last year and a half, life got in the way. Between serious bouts of fibromyalgia and debilitating migraines, I gained some weight, and found myself feeling dumpy, frumpy, and most definately in a slump. 2012 is over and the time has come to dump that frump slump, release the excess weight, change my attitude, and be and feel fabulous! This journey is about more than just weight loss. It is about facing and releasing all things that hold us back from living life to the fullest each and every day. Make the most of what you have, and live a "seize the moment" lifestyle. Join me on my journey, and dump your own slumps - whatever they may be. Welcome to Fabulous!
