Thanks for the Memories

When one thing is cleaned (in my case the carpets) - there seems to be an impulse to clean other things.  In that process - more "things" appear to be cleaned and there is more work that appears and needs to be completed.  So it seems...


Yesterday - I set out to put back together the master bedroom and closet.  This was to be about a one hour task.  I started at 9:00 am and finished at 6:15 pm (after taking 45 minutes for lunch of course...).


The results - fabulous!  The journey - well, "Thanks for the Memories"


The cleaning itself was very therapeutic - washing away dust and dirt can be a powerful metaphor when one is in a heavy duty transformation cycle.  It is amazing some of the places that dust lives - and how a q-tip  must be used to remove said dust.  I was certainly in a very "detailed" (read retentive) mood yesterday so no detail was left undone. 


The closet challenge was the most difficult and the most time consuming.  Although it has been steadily purged of oversized clothing - I have been "hiding" some things.  And as I found out with the purging of the Venice to Trieste train tickets - letting go of these "treasures" and security blankets proved to be more difficult than I thought.


Hiding Things
I have been steadily moving oversized workout clothes and "unmentionable's" to the most remote drawers in the closet.  Also - suits, shirts, sweaters have been circulating to the back rungs of the far corners.  All these items have been stored there for a "just in case" moment.  I like to be prepared - and have been saving these items for the "just in case I gain 30 pounds by tomorrow" scenario that has been a subject of more than one nightmare and thought process (silly - yes, but a Yeti could come to the front door as well - that's why there should always be a steak in the freezer...just in case).


I started with the "unmentionable" drawer and emptied it on the very clean and fresh floor of the closet.  There lay a variety of items that represented a different time and place (without going into detail - primative versions of Spanx-like things circa the year 2000 were everywhere).  I keep circling and saving - putting "well I could maybe still use this" back in the drawer.  A short while later - everything was back in the drawer.  This wasn't going well...


After a short recess - I returned with renewed ruthlessness and a trash bag.  Deep breath taken - all things that didn't fit (which of course was everything) went into the bag.  Oy Vey...I could hardly breath...what if that 30 pounds reappeared tomorrow?  (it didn't - by the way)


This panic attack was then followed by the Raid on the Really Old Workout Clothes drawer (circa 2001-2002).  This one contained such antiquities as my 2001 Team Diabetes singlet from the Disneyworld Half Marathon, the grey workout shorts that would now fit any one of the linebackers at Vikings training camp, and the infamous Air Force t-shirt (lovingly dubbed AF1 - there is an updated and less worn version called AF2). 


I considered the singlet as a momento - but it's day was done and I remembered it clinging to my skin in the rain after the Disneyworld Half Marathon finish and smelling not so good.  The shorts - well, let's just say they were the easiest item to leave the premises (quite unattractive, and I wondered if I resembled a linebacker while wearing them - and given that timeframe, my answer would be yes). 


But there was that t-shirt...


Ratty, ripped, oft referred to as the "Flash Dance" shirt - it was threadbare, and the words "AIR FORCE" were peeling off.  My uncle, the Colonel bought it for me about 150 years ago and I wore it ALL the time.  It was an XXL and it was sweat in, sat around in, laughed in, cryed in, slept in, and dreamed in.  It was THE go to t-shirt whenever absolute comfort was required.  Over the years - it logged more miles than most people do, and its journeys included trips from Israel to California to New Jersey.  As the washing continued, it sucumbed to time and soap and around the year 2000 - it began to rip (hence the Flash Dance reference).  It was retired to the drawer of long lost workout clothes in early 2002.  I have brought it out from time to time to recall some of the events to which it had been worn, but it had long been untouched. 


I knew the time had come to say goodbye and put it on one last time.  A million memories poured back as I closed my eyes and saw myself wearing it.  Some good, so difficult - but all part of me.  However, there was a realization that a smelly old t-shirt wasn't required to have those memories - it was merely a catalyst, not the memory itself.  I could still have those without AF1.  Off it came - and into the bag it went.  (brief moment of silence).  It was so funny that almost immediately - I felt lighter and less "weighty".  But letting it go will give me so much more room for the wonderful things that will be coming with the new shirts that will be THE go to's for comfort and security (and they will actually fit).  I'm not giving up AF2 anytime soon - but new things will fill in the gaps. 


Cleaning and clearing - I'm doing better at this daunting task and yesterday was a great step forward in the need to hide things for fear of sudden weight gain and Yeti visits. And - my closet is ready for more! We will discuss the freezer another time...


Carpe Diem and so it is...