Is a countdown a good and motivational thing, or a bad and stress inducing thing?
On New Years Eve - it is considered joyful and good. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Happy New Year!" For a shuttle launch - it is exciting and inspiring. I remember quite clearly standing on the NASA causeway six miles from the launch of Discovery on July 4th, 2006 and hearing the countdown - "T-minus 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 - go for main engine start, 2, 1 - booster ignition and liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery". Incredible!
On the bad or stressful side - there is the common angst associated with a countdown to an event where one wants to lose weight, i.e. high school reunion, wedding. What if the scale doesn't say the "right number"? What if the dress doesn't fit? What if the people I will see don't react well to me? Not a good thing unless it serves as motivation to achieve a goal.
This morning I found myself in the light grey area between inspiration and angst. The countdown clock for me is at 40 days before The New York City Marathon.
First - the angst:
I haven't received absolute, firm, signed, sealed and delivered confirmation of my participation in a charity. So - I wonder if I will actually be participating, or watching on the sidelines while my two friends participate (which would be fine as well). But - I don't sit well on the sidelines. So my angst is the waiting (and waiting and waiting). Hopefully this week - but until I know - I don't know and I like to know. Angst inducer number two - I am also managing through an RA flareup that doesn't want to leave me as much as I want to see it go. Each day I expect it to be gone, and each day it returns. I hate that when that happens. Fighting it makes it worse, so again, I wait for it to lift (and wait and wait).
Angst - don't like you too much.
Second - the excitement:
I have 40 days remaining to complete preparations for the greatest marathon in the world (my opinion) and even if I somehow don't get my charity slot - I will be in marathon condition for another event in the same time frame (Honolulu again? Vegas?) The flare up will leave (darnit) - and I am working daily to escort it out the door of my joints and into the atmosphere.
So today I chose the inspirational avenue towards this countdown. I will obtain my charity slot (more on this organization and what they do - which is really amazing - once the final confirmation comes), and am going to get out and walk today. I walked 4 miles yesterday despite my screaming joints, and I will go further today.
Conclusion:
Countdown = positive and inspirational. No more light grey - all systems are green and go for launch.
Carpe Diem, and so it is.
About Me
- Carol Fitzgerald Tyler
- I lost 103 pounds without surgery, and there was great rejoicing! However - over the last year and a half, life got in the way. Between serious bouts of fibromyalgia and debilitating migraines, I gained some weight, and found myself feeling dumpy, frumpy, and most definately in a slump. 2012 is over and the time has come to dump that frump slump, release the excess weight, change my attitude, and be and feel fabulous! This journey is about more than just weight loss. It is about facing and releasing all things that hold us back from living life to the fullest each and every day. Make the most of what you have, and live a "seize the moment" lifestyle. Join me on my journey, and dump your own slumps - whatever they may be. Welcome to Fabulous!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Winning doesn't always mean First...
As my preparations continue for the New York City Marathon, I found this story that is so inspirational in its teaching of what is possible. It is an amazing testiment to courage and to defining winning as not crossing first, but crossing in the face of significant physical obstacles. Viva Zoe! I can't wait to see her in a few weeks!
The Story:
Manhattanite Zoe Koplowitz is eager to take part in what will be her 22nd New York City Marathon on Nov. 7 -- and she'll be a winner, even though she'll probably finish last, as she always does.
Koplowitz, 62, lives with multiple sclerosis and diabetes and walks the route on magenta-tinted crutches and wearing eye shadow. Her finishing times have been between 29 hours and a possible record-setting 33 hours and 23 minutes, she said.
"I get the same satisfaction as someone who finishes it in three or four hours," said Koplowitz, a motivational speaker and author.
Koplowitz, who dismisses the pain she lives with -- "that's why God invented Advil" -- and is grateful to the Guardian Angels, who escort her during her overnight marathon hours, says she's on a mission to "reinvent the whole idea of winning."
"It's not always about being first," she said. "It's about doing everything you do from the center of your being with everything you've got. That's what makes a winner."
She has been nominated for a New York Post Liberty Medal in the Courage category by the New York City-Southern New York chapter of the National MS Society.
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/marathon_first_lady_P0nNlZlB7fHujd45BFgRkI#ixzz10Auw8ztg
The Story:
Manhattanite Zoe Koplowitz is eager to take part in what will be her 22nd New York City Marathon on Nov. 7 -- and she'll be a winner, even though she'll probably finish last, as she always does.
Koplowitz, 62, lives with multiple sclerosis and diabetes and walks the route on magenta-tinted crutches and wearing eye shadow. Her finishing times have been between 29 hours and a possible record-setting 33 hours and 23 minutes, she said.
"I get the same satisfaction as someone who finishes it in three or four hours," said Koplowitz, a motivational speaker and author.
Koplowitz, who dismisses the pain she lives with -- "that's why God invented Advil" -- and is grateful to the Guardian Angels, who escort her during her overnight marathon hours, says she's on a mission to "reinvent the whole idea of winning."
"It's not always about being first," she said. "It's about doing everything you do from the center of your being with everything you've got. That's what makes a winner."
She has been nominated for a New York Post Liberty Medal in the Courage category by the New York City-Southern New York chapter of the National MS Society.
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/marathon_first_lady_P0nNlZlB7fHujd45BFgRkI#ixzz10Auw8ztg
Monday, September 13, 2010
That Finish Line Feeling...
A finish line is a miraculous place. In a sporting event or a life event - months of preparations culminate in that brief and magic moment of "finishing". But to finish - one must start, and then middle, and then finish. That middle part - not always enjoyable, but a part of the process. No shortcuts - just determination.
Yesterday, I stood at the finish line of The Nation's Triathalon cheering for my sister as she completed her third triathalon this summer. During the day, both on the course and at the finish - I observed many people of all shapes, sizes, and ages. Some were barely moving and in pain and some were sprinting laughing, and literally kicking up their heels with joy. No matter what state they were in - the crowd cheered them on, and the magic happened because they dared and prepared to finish what they started.
That magic moment of finishing, of crossing that line of completion (whatever that may be) is incredible. In an event such as a marathon or triathalon - it is the almost indescribable feeling of the medal placed around your neck. That moment is worth every book and training manual studied, every early rising, every blister, every foregone martini, every hour of time spent away from a family - every sacrifice that was made. You know in that instant that somehow, no matter what the circumstances, disabilities, distractions, and issues - a miracle was accomplished. That miracle then spurs on more accomplishments, because you know that you can...
And so, you start again, and middle again, and finish again, and so on, and so on.
Not always easy - but the finish line represents the courage to begin, to try, to go out, and to succeed.
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt
Yesterday, I stood at the finish line of The Nation's Triathalon cheering for my sister as she completed her third triathalon this summer. During the day, both on the course and at the finish - I observed many people of all shapes, sizes, and ages. Some were barely moving and in pain and some were sprinting laughing, and literally kicking up their heels with joy. No matter what state they were in - the crowd cheered them on, and the magic happened because they dared and prepared to finish what they started.
That magic moment of finishing, of crossing that line of completion (whatever that may be) is incredible. In an event such as a marathon or triathalon - it is the almost indescribable feeling of the medal placed around your neck. That moment is worth every book and training manual studied, every early rising, every blister, every foregone martini, every hour of time spent away from a family - every sacrifice that was made. You know in that instant that somehow, no matter what the circumstances, disabilities, distractions, and issues - a miracle was accomplished. That miracle then spurs on more accomplishments, because you know that you can...
And so, you start again, and middle again, and finish again, and so on, and so on.
Not always easy - but the finish line represents the courage to begin, to try, to go out, and to succeed.
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, September 6, 2010
It's Over and It Is Just Beginning
Labor Day Monday - a day traditionally considered to be the end of summer. Tomorrow marks returns to school and to a more disciplined schedule of work with summer vacations completed.
Technically - summer is over on the autumnal equinox, which is scheduled for 3:09 a.m. UTC (Coordinated Universal Time) on September 23rd, 2010. On that day, the sun crosses the equator and moves southward in the northern hemisphere. At that time, the earth’s axis of rotation is perpendicular to the line connecting the centers of the earth and the sun.
Mmmhmmm...that's all the technical explanation required...And now - to the point...
It's Over
Summer 2010 was radically different from the summers of the recent past. It was challenging as I learned about handling rejection, trying to find a new job, change, and rebirth.
This summer brought relief of rejection in many forms:
- a few excessive ice cream consumptions (should have bought stock in Dairy Queen)
- some chocolate binges (dark for the antioxidants)
- lots of job research and reading
- full contact racquetball matches (getting hit stings!)
- obsessive cleaning jags
- a half marathon
- a three day 60 mile walk to serve a cause more important than myself
Those relief efforts have left me with a couple extra pounds - but they will be soon gone again when marathon training gets serious starting tomorrow.
There were tears, more than I'd like to admit. Eventually, the tears led to giggles, smiles, and finally back to the laughter that permeates my life. The most important thing was that no matter how dark the mood, I knew I could transform and become stronger and more confident than I had ever been.
I also can't recall a summer when I have seen more butterflies. Monarchs, yellow ones, white ones - they have been everywhere. The development of a butterfly follows several stages - and my summer 2010 seems to have been the chrysalis stage. That stage of a butterfly is marked by little movement. But it is the stage in which growth and differentiation occurs. It is a protected covering, a sheltered state, or a stage of being or growth.
Peaceful and quiet, not frantic and frenzied, summer 2010 has been a gift of contemplation, evaluation, and growth, and certainly a sheltered state of sorts. It was a transformational journey and a blessing. It will always be a time in my life I will value for the lessons learned about patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and letting go control of that which I cannot control.
It Is Just Beginning
September 7th, 2010 - New Season/New Beginning
The adult butterfly emerges from the chrysalis and expands its wings by pumping haemolymph (a fluid) into the wing veins. This sudden and rapid change is called metamorphosis.
More on that in the next post...
Technically - summer is over on the autumnal equinox, which is scheduled for 3:09 a.m. UTC (Coordinated Universal Time) on September 23rd, 2010. On that day, the sun crosses the equator and moves southward in the northern hemisphere. At that time, the earth’s axis of rotation is perpendicular to the line connecting the centers of the earth and the sun.
Mmmhmmm...that's all the technical explanation required...And now - to the point...
It's Over
Summer 2010 was radically different from the summers of the recent past. It was challenging as I learned about handling rejection, trying to find a new job, change, and rebirth.
This summer brought relief of rejection in many forms:
- a few excessive ice cream consumptions (should have bought stock in Dairy Queen)
- some chocolate binges (dark for the antioxidants)
- lots of job research and reading
- full contact racquetball matches (getting hit stings!)
- obsessive cleaning jags
- a half marathon
- a three day 60 mile walk to serve a cause more important than myself
Those relief efforts have left me with a couple extra pounds - but they will be soon gone again when marathon training gets serious starting tomorrow.
There were tears, more than I'd like to admit. Eventually, the tears led to giggles, smiles, and finally back to the laughter that permeates my life. The most important thing was that no matter how dark the mood, I knew I could transform and become stronger and more confident than I had ever been.
I also can't recall a summer when I have seen more butterflies. Monarchs, yellow ones, white ones - they have been everywhere. The development of a butterfly follows several stages - and my summer 2010 seems to have been the chrysalis stage. That stage of a butterfly is marked by little movement. But it is the stage in which growth and differentiation occurs. It is a protected covering, a sheltered state, or a stage of being or growth.
Peaceful and quiet, not frantic and frenzied, summer 2010 has been a gift of contemplation, evaluation, and growth, and certainly a sheltered state of sorts. It was a transformational journey and a blessing. It will always be a time in my life I will value for the lessons learned about patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and letting go control of that which I cannot control.
It Is Just Beginning
September 7th, 2010 - New Season/New Beginning
The adult butterfly emerges from the chrysalis and expands its wings by pumping haemolymph (a fluid) into the wing veins. This sudden and rapid change is called metamorphosis.
More on that in the next post...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
A Good Reminder...
"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true."
Richard Bach
Richard Bach
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Out of the Cocoon
At the very moment when the caterpiller thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Maybe
Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;
after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and
heartaches.
Maybe . . .
you should dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go,
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and one chance
to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.
Maybe . . .
you should start right now.
after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and
heartaches.
Maybe . . .
you should dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go,
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and one chance
to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.
Maybe . . .
you should start right now.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
A Poet - and I Didn't Know It...
As I embark on the journey of the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk to cure this disease - I was inspired by Clement Clarke Moore's timeless poem, "A Visit From St. Nicholas". My poem is certainly of a more abbreviated nature.
A Inspired Visit from St. Peregrine (patron saint of cancer patients and healing)
Twas the Night Before the 3-Day...when all through the house...all the pink clothing was stirring, and there was concerns of a douse
The weather was forecast to be rainy and damp, but the weather won't stop the event and, thank goodness, no camp...(for me anyway :))
The preparations were done on the asphalt with care, in hopes of that the cure soon would be there...
The shoes were all laced and the sox clean and bright,
there was much excitement for the pasta dinner tonight
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, she sprang from her bed to see what was the matter
When what to her wondering eyes should appear, but a fanny pack with water bottles, and all the right gear
And she whistled and shouted and called the checklist by name:
Now poncho, now Body Glide, now shorts and aspirin,
On bandaids, on T-shirt, on mole skin, on Neospirin,
She spoke not a word, but went straight to the work, and she walked for the cause so that fewer would hurt
And I heard her exclaim as she walked out of sight
"Happy 3 Day to All - and please St. Peregrine, no more breast cancer in sight"
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
A Inspired Visit from St. Peregrine (patron saint of cancer patients and healing)
Twas the Night Before the 3-Day...when all through the house...all the pink clothing was stirring, and there was concerns of a douse
The weather was forecast to be rainy and damp, but the weather won't stop the event and, thank goodness, no camp...(for me anyway :))
The preparations were done on the asphalt with care, in hopes of that the cure soon would be there...
The shoes were all laced and the sox clean and bright,
there was much excitement for the pasta dinner tonight
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, she sprang from her bed to see what was the matter
When what to her wondering eyes should appear, but a fanny pack with water bottles, and all the right gear
And she whistled and shouted and called the checklist by name:
Now poncho, now Body Glide, now shorts and aspirin,
On bandaids, on T-shirt, on mole skin, on Neospirin,
She spoke not a word, but went straight to the work, and she walked for the cause so that fewer would hurt
And I heard her exclaim as she walked out of sight
"Happy 3 Day to All - and please St. Peregrine, no more breast cancer in sight"
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Attention, Please...
It amazes me what happens when you "pay attention". In this modern and hectic life, so much occurs and fills the space that is normally consumed just by being consumed. Busy to be busy, distracted to just be that way.
And then, there is a moment of quiet, when mobile devices and televisions and ipods and all manner of thing falls away, and you can SEE what needs to be seen (and wonderful surprises as well), and attend to that which needs or desires attending, and be at peace knowing you make a difference just by paying attention.
It was in one of those moments of attention that I found this quote - and boy, did it help me see...
"Once, there was no road where I wanted to go. So I made my own.
And I haven't looked back ever since.
My dream is to carve my own path. I was never one to follow maps. "
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
And then, there is a moment of quiet, when mobile devices and televisions and ipods and all manner of thing falls away, and you can SEE what needs to be seen (and wonderful surprises as well), and attend to that which needs or desires attending, and be at peace knowing you make a difference just by paying attention.
It was in one of those moments of attention that I found this quote - and boy, did it help me see...
"Once, there was no road where I wanted to go. So I made my own.
And I haven't looked back ever since.
My dream is to carve my own path. I was never one to follow maps. "
Carpe Diem, and so it is...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Migraine Musings and Metaphors
I deal with migraines on a pretty consistent basis - and today is one of those days. I felt it starting last night (it literally feels like a big brick with spikes is is crawling up the back of my neck). Despite efforts to the contrary - it arrived this early morning. Of course the hot dog I ate last night loaded with those tasty nitrates didn't help, but I was at a ball game. Ball game = hot dog. It is a universal law that those two things go together. Amen.
Why am I writing then? It is too painful at present to do nothing and rest. It's easier for me to keep my mind engaged till the Imitrex kicks in (if it does). In this stage of the migraine event - I do things to avoid the pain - drink coffee, thumb through magazines, wander around adjusting pictures, writing in the blog... Unfortunately, avoiding the pain now doesn't necessarily prevent it from having to be "gone through" later. Sometimes, going through it teaches you how to deal with it the next time and the next time...
During the migraine event itself - depending on it's "personality" - it is a real challenge to exist. My migraines have different personalities. Some cause sensitivity to smell, some light, some touch, some noise, some cause extreme nausea, some knock me out so hard I don't even remember getting through them. They last between 12 hours and 72 hours - again depending on the "personality". During that time, unless I can intercept with Imitrex, I need to go through it and come out the other side feeling better. Going through usually involves a lot of sleeping, ice packs, sometimes a bit of writhing, and just plain praying for the pain to be done.
Just before an event concludes - the pain is the ABSOLUTE worst. I have named it the "spike" and it can be wretched. I can't sleep, eat or move around. It is basically sitting as best as possible and waiting for the end of it. Nothing can soothe this phase - it just needs to pass.
But then - (cue the white heavenly light) - it starts to stop and "lift"...as if almost by magic.
When the migraine is over - the pressure empties, the brick and spikes disappear, and my head feels a rush of (what I perceive to be) cold air filling the vacuum of the spots that hurt so badly. It is peaceful and refreshing. The pain evaporates into the ether and there is this exhausted but wonderful "high" that fills in the gap where the pain was. This transition wipes out any remaining energy I have, but it is such an awesome conclusion to such a nasty time. There is such serenity in knowing that the pain is gone, and I can return back to my "normal" self (hahaha). The sleep following a migraine is like being wrapped up in a big thick down comforter with big fluffy down pillows, like 5 of them...
As with migraines and other things, sometimes, the only way through the pain is to go through the pain. As Winston Churchill once said, "when you are going through hell, keep going." Feel what you are feeling, don't avoid it, but face it, learn from it, and know that it will soon be done. And then, on to the plush down comforter (and perhaps some really good macaroni and cheese - yummy).
The pill isn't kicking in yet, and it appears I am into an event. Time to gird the loins and get going through it so it can be done before Friday. That topic for another entry.
To all who are getting and going through pain - I wish you the best. Carpe Diem, migraine and all...and so it is...
Why am I writing then? It is too painful at present to do nothing and rest. It's easier for me to keep my mind engaged till the Imitrex kicks in (if it does). In this stage of the migraine event - I do things to avoid the pain - drink coffee, thumb through magazines, wander around adjusting pictures, writing in the blog... Unfortunately, avoiding the pain now doesn't necessarily prevent it from having to be "gone through" later. Sometimes, going through it teaches you how to deal with it the next time and the next time...
During the migraine event itself - depending on it's "personality" - it is a real challenge to exist. My migraines have different personalities. Some cause sensitivity to smell, some light, some touch, some noise, some cause extreme nausea, some knock me out so hard I don't even remember getting through them. They last between 12 hours and 72 hours - again depending on the "personality". During that time, unless I can intercept with Imitrex, I need to go through it and come out the other side feeling better. Going through usually involves a lot of sleeping, ice packs, sometimes a bit of writhing, and just plain praying for the pain to be done.
Just before an event concludes - the pain is the ABSOLUTE worst. I have named it the "spike" and it can be wretched. I can't sleep, eat or move around. It is basically sitting as best as possible and waiting for the end of it. Nothing can soothe this phase - it just needs to pass.
But then - (cue the white heavenly light) - it starts to stop and "lift"...as if almost by magic.
When the migraine is over - the pressure empties, the brick and spikes disappear, and my head feels a rush of (what I perceive to be) cold air filling the vacuum of the spots that hurt so badly. It is peaceful and refreshing. The pain evaporates into the ether and there is this exhausted but wonderful "high" that fills in the gap where the pain was. This transition wipes out any remaining energy I have, but it is such an awesome conclusion to such a nasty time. There is such serenity in knowing that the pain is gone, and I can return back to my "normal" self (hahaha). The sleep following a migraine is like being wrapped up in a big thick down comforter with big fluffy down pillows, like 5 of them...
As with migraines and other things, sometimes, the only way through the pain is to go through the pain. As Winston Churchill once said, "when you are going through hell, keep going." Feel what you are feeling, don't avoid it, but face it, learn from it, and know that it will soon be done. And then, on to the plush down comforter (and perhaps some really good macaroni and cheese - yummy).
The pill isn't kicking in yet, and it appears I am into an event. Time to gird the loins and get going through it so it can be done before Friday. That topic for another entry.
To all who are getting and going through pain - I wish you the best. Carpe Diem, migraine and all...and so it is...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)